This is NOT a Chapter of the Book.
This stand alone.
She sat at the bus stop, shivering, wishing she had a car, or a lift to this party.
It was bitingly cold, & she was only wearing light clothing, under her light coat.
She had been invited, & had not intended going. The empty gnawing in her mind had kept her thinking of the party. Thinking of the anonymity of her attendance. There was a good chance she would not be recongnized or really noticed.
How had she become friends with a girl who worked for a Funeral Parlour? She couldn't really remember.
As she sat, shivering in the intense cold, a car pulled up alongside the bus stop.
A window wound down, the driver leaning over, asking, out of the passenger side, if she would like a lift?
She debated, decided she didnt give a bugger, one way or the other. What the hell, she was determined to destroy herself anyway, so "What the Hell".
"I would love a lift. I am going to a party."
"Could I come too?" Eager, happy.
"Sure." She didnt give a damn. If that would make him happy.
He opened the door, she got into the relatively warm car, settling into the passenger seat.
She could almost feel him shaking with excitement, his bodily vibrations quite stong, almost shaking the car.
" I want to go & change my shoes" he said. She vaguely thought this a little strange, but she didn't really care. She had plotted her evening, & his movements meant little to her. "Fine" she said.
He did a U turn, on the street, though the markings on the road indicated U turns were forbidden. He pulled into a driveway, not so far from the bus stop. She sat waiting, as he leapt into the building, turning on a light in a room, at the rear of the actual house.
She listened as a young child's voice piped up, declaring "Vince is home!" "What are you doing Vince? He is cleaning his shoes!! He must have a date!! Ha Ha has Vince found a girl to go out with!"
"Shut up, you little sh!t!" " Dont you dare look out there! This is nothing to do with you, bugger off you little @rsehole!"
" Nyah nyah, Vince has got a girl!!"
Further muffled swearing, then Vince leapt back into his car, gunning the motor, & roaring backwards at 40 km out of the driveway, back onto the main road.
Off to the party, vague memories, directions being given. She was a little shakey on the addess, but eventually they arrived, & she could see some people she knew.
"Hello Hello!" "This is Vince"
"Who?" whispered by a friend.
"Oh I don't know, I picked him up from the side of the road, haha!"
"Well how do you do, Vince, from the side of the road?"
Leaving Vince on the long verandah, in the dark shadows. Moving into the crowded rooms of the house. The bright light of the lounge room, with many, milling people.
The thought that "Tonight I will end this pain. Tonight it will all cease. All I need to do is drink enough, and it will all be finished."
Meeting a familiar face, his presence large & familiar, somehow almost a comfort.
A surry of confusion. This is not the person I came with. This is someone from my past? I know this person? I trust this person?
Steering her to the bedroom, a misty vague reality. The tumble of bedsheets, the pillows tossed about, the pleas of "Don't Don't, What the hell are you doing?"
The sheets, the blood, the horrified faces. The questions, the "What the Hell?s"
The police don't really want to know.
"Did you know this person? Did you have a 'relationship' with this person? Of any sort? What do you mean by casual? What do you mean by non personal? What do you mean by aquaintance only? What are you trying to say, when you mention you thought you were 'friends'?"
"Did this mean your friend, could share your bed? Did this mean you were in a sexual relationship? What do you mean, 'Not as far as you knew?'"
"Are you trying to imply 'he took advantage of you?'. How can you say this, when you were clearly under the influence of alcohol? You might have been offering it up? Isn't that the truth?"
"Whatever you say it wasn't like that at all. But forget it. I can't be bothered, & I don't want to pursue it. Please just leave it. Leave it all."
"So, you are dropping any charges? Is that what you are trying to say?"
"It seems to be the right thing to say, so 'Yes, that is what I am saying'."
"Well, that is good, we can all go home early. No paperwork, & no dingbat moaner to deal with!"
"If she hadn't been a nutter, I wouldn't have minded giving her one!"
11 months ago